


Rearrange Me ‘Til I’m Sane

by louisnharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dom Harry, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Famous Harry, Gen, HIV/AIDS, Historical Accuracy, Historical Inaccuracy, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, Other, Protective Louis, Sexual Experimentation, Slow Burn, Songwriter Harry Styles, diversity, misjudgement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-25 11:53:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20025367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisnharry/pseuds/louisnharry
Summary: Louis grew up having a twisted kind of freedom. He had lived on the streets since he was a kid, being on his own had become the music leading his life. It was a lot of going to sleep with an empty stomach and waking up thinking about the meaning of his life, but his place in the world gave him the power of not expecting anything from anyone. Except Zayn, his only constant friend and the only person other than his own conscience to be there when things turn into a fiasco. Enter Harry Styles, the perfect rockstar with a broken, diamond smile who would do anything to have a taste of Louis’ freedom. The road to figuring out each other was a long one, but might be worth the tears and the doubts.Or famous AU where Louis is an orphan who just wants to start a fucking revolution, and Harry is a singer who is tired to belong to everyone but himself.





	Rearrange Me ‘Til I’m Sane

**Author's Note:**

> I’m quite proud of this idea, and I just hope you guys love reading it as much as I do writing it. This is just a little peek, to see how you guys like it and if you want me to publish the whole story, please leave some comments, I’d truly appreciate that :)))

** "Blood does not family make. Those are relatives. Family are those with whom you share your good, bad, and ugly, and still love one another in the end. Those are the ones you select."**

**—Hector Xtravaganza**

_Jersey City, 1979._

Louis was sixteen years old when he was sent back to the foster care center. He had silent tears rolling down his face and a tight feeling twisting his lungs, he couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t his first time being sent back, in fact, people just couldn’t seem to deal with his mood swings and his unjustified defiance. He had never cried about losing a family, he never even had time to feel attached enough to cry.

This time was different, though. This time he could lose everything.

His adoptive mother had caught him playing around with her makeup. She had laughed at first, thinking it was maybe Louis' inner artist revealing itself, but then Louis started crying and the smile vanished from her face. The drive back to the foster care had been awkward, and he knew this wasn’t going to end well for him. He heard things at his school, he heard what they did to people like him, to people with his condition.

“I just hope you don’t end up as a hobo.”

Louis let out a shaky breath. “Fuck you,” he said with a broken voice.

The car stopped abruptly, making the seat belt dig into Louis’ chest. The older woman turned to look at him with offended, almost hurt, eyes. How dare someone like him talk to her like that? She was saving his life.

“You should be ashamed of yourself; you fight and sass and make it impossible for people to deal with you just to mask the fact that you’re a fag, a fucking fairy. No one wants to raise a sissy, and I’d rather do them a favor,” she said, her words burning his skin like fire. “Get the hell out of my car. I’ll tell them you’re dead. In a few months I’m sure you’re gonna wish you were.”

Louis’ face must had been hilarious, because a tiny smile crept on the woman’s face. He cleaned his face and collected himself before opening the back door, keeping himself together for a little longer.

As soon as his bags were out and the car trunk was closed, she hit the pedal and made a U turn. Louis felt the panic building inside of him, the cold breeze making him shiver as he slowly started to walk to what looked like New York.

◟̽◞̽

It had been a week since Louis got out of that car.

He didn’t know how long he had walked that first night, but despite his toes going numb and his legs shaking, Louis refused to take a break. He had ended up by a pier next to a park, holding on to his bags and refusing to move unless he absolutely needed to. He hadn’t gone unnoticed and his first night at the pier was the worst, people calling him names and offering to do things he had never heard of before.

He didn’t allow himself to break, even though every cell in his body was yearning for a rest, was begging him to just cry it all out. He was not letting her words get to him, no matter how hard they had hit him. After a while, he decided to abandon the pier and it took him hours of walking to realize he didn’t even know which part of New York he currently was at. He resolved himself to stay at the park.

Louis sat down on a bench in the park; he could see the pier in the distance and more bodies than last time. It was not late; the sun was barely setting down and yet, he was already so incredibly tired. He held on to his bags, his grip making his knuckles turn white and his fingers starting to feel sore.

“Yo, kid,” someone immediately called. Louis looked at the direction of the voice from the corner of his eye. “You ain’t from here, ‘ight?”

He ignored the question and looked down. His whole body was shaking, making it even more clear that this was his first time being on the streets by himself. The same guy who talked to him the first time now was walking towards him.

“Papo, look. I’m not gonna touch you, but soon someone will, and you ain’t gonna like it,” he sat next to him, eyeing his bags. “At least they gave you time to pack.”

“W-What do you want from me?”

His vision had gone blurry by now, and his nose had turned pink and he was on the verge of tears. He didn’t expect being on the streets today, and he was just trying to not let everything hit him at once, or he would be overwhelmed and vulnerable. Louis couldn’t be vulnerable right now, not when his life was at stake, when at any moment someone could try to hurt him.

“Me? I’m just trying to help. You don’t go unnoticed, you know? I saw you since you crossed the road the first day you came in here. You’re not gonna last long.”

Louis, despite holding back his own breakdown, managed to snort. “That really calms me down, thank you.”

The guy laughed then, offering his hand. “They call me Captain Jack.”

“Why? ‘Cause you get everyone high?” He really didn’t know how he was so calm, how he was feeling like he was going to break inside yet his posture was calm and confident. Louis guessed it was practice. He shook Captain Jack’s hand. “I’m Louis.”

“Louis, you gotta find a roof before you get your ass fucked raw while you’re sleeping, or you just gotta keep walking.”

“I don’t wanna walk anymore, I’m tired.”

Jack sighed, pulling out a tiny notebook from his jacket and immediately starting writing. “There’s someone that owes me a favor, they might wanna use a face like yours for their balls. Call them, tell them you need a place to sleep and that Jack sent you.” He ripped the piece of paper where he wrote a number and gave it to Louis.

“Why are you helping me?”

“I’m no monster. You a kid, I’ve been on the streets for longer that you can imagine, and innocence is the first thing they take away from you,” Jack smiled with glassy eyes. “There’s something warm about you, Louis. You’re gon’ make some big changes, might even change the world. But you gotta find yourself first, and it’s easy to get lost around here.”

Louis smiled for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. “Thank you.”

◟̽◞̽

An hour and a half later, a red car parked right in front of Louis. He wasn’t really expecting anything anymore, but when a beautiful woman rolled down the window and eyed him from head to toe, he started to get nervous.

“Not another white boy,” she said to herself, and Louis decided to pretend he didn’t hear it.

Louis just stood there for a while, watching the woman toss things around to make space for him and to put his stuff. When she was done, Louis was still standing there.

“Well? Are you gonna stay there all night?”

Louis gave her a forced smile before throwing his stuff on the back seat. The woman seemed bored, and if it were less dark out, maybe Louis would’ve realized she was high as a kite. As soon as he was on the passenger seat, she took off.

“I’m Angel,” she said. “Mother sent me to pick you up.”

“I’m Louis.”

She nodded, her afro blow-out moving along with her head.“So, Louis. How did you end up here lookin’ like a white boy ready to go to church?”

He was ready to snap at her but then he saw the playful smile on her face and breathed. No one was trying to hurt him, he had to try and let his guard down. Louis smiled back at her, feeling his shoulders slowly relax as he started talking about his past life.

Louis told her everything. He was unable to stop once he started pouring words out, and his heart suddenly felt less heavy with every sentence said. He told Angel his story as an orphan, how he never really knew what a real family was about, how his dick only seemed to get hard to Blueboy magazines. She just listened patiently, smiling every now and then when Louis dared to crack a joke about his sad, lonely life.

“You know how I see it?” She asked when he finished his story. “You’re a lucky one. You never had to deal with the face of your ma looking at you like you’re a monster, ‘cause you’re a free spirit, and no one can take that away from you.”

Louis bit his lip, a spark of realization adorning his eyes. “I guess I am.”

“Don’t worry, kid. We gon’ teach you good.”


End file.
